“Ravens? I have to do something with the ravens? Shoot them

canada goose coats 4 Problems With Living in the ‘Game of Thrones’ Universe canada goose coats

canadian goose jacket There is one man who has been traveling throughout all of the nine kingdoms over the course of his life. Many settle down, whether to work in Winterfell or guard the Wall, but one man lived the life of a wanderer, the life of a nomad. This was perhaps due to his Canada Goose Parka restless spirit, or perhaps due to his thirst for adventure and new challenges. It’s also very likely, however, that he was routinely kicked out of wherever he ended up, due to the wretched stench that followed him wherever he went, his near constant spitting and a canada goose factory sale demeanor that Lady Lysa Arryn once described as “The most appalling thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m a woman who still Canada Goose Outlet breast Canada Goose Coats On Sale feeds her 12 year old son.” Whatever the canada goose coats on sale reason, the man known as Sir Danyul, Screamer of Filth and Puncher of Cats, never really found a home. canadian goose jacket

Here is the account of his brief time spent in the Game of Thrones universe, and all that he learned while there.

“What’s this all about?” cried one of the old, barrel chested, white bearded men of which there are about Canada Goose Online a dozen or so throughout the buy canada goose jacket entirety of the series. He was hardened and outspoken, much, in fact, like all of the other ones. “I’ve got hunks of non specific meat to chomp on and large brass steins of some kind of ale to gulp. Make this quick!”

Canada Goose Outlet “You’re part of this problem,” Danyul said to the broad, white haired lifetime soldier who may or may not have been a bad guy, “but you’re canada goose clearance sale sort of a minor character, so I don’t really feel bad for not being able to keep tabs on you. Still, though, it’s very confusing. Are you Jon, the soldier who pals around with the shaggy haired Stark kid in battle, or Jeor, the soldier who pals around with the other shaggy haired Stark kid at the Wall?” Canada Goose Outlet

“What do you mean, ‘keep tabs’?” barked one of the other large, outspoken soldiers. Or it might have uk canada goose outlet been the original outspoken old soldier, Danyul couldn’t really tell. One of them was Jon and one of them was Jeor, but he’d go to his smelly grave not knowing.

canada goose store They’re so similar that if you Google “Jon Umber,” Jon and Jeor both come up. Even canada goose black friday sale the Internet can’t tell them canadian goose jacket apart. canada goose store

“Just, in general,” Danyul said. “I’m having just a bitch of a time canada goose uk black friday figuring out which one of you is which.”

“What does that mean?” called one of three messy haired white guys from House Stark who were all introduced at the Canada Goose sale same time, so who could even keep track?”We’re all very different,” they shouted in unison.

Canada Goose Parka “This is what I’m talking about. It’s really hard tell you guys canada goose store apart. Only one of https://www.expeditionparkaoutlets.ca you is an actual, full blooded Stark, right?” Canada Goose Parka

Canada Goose online “Aye, that’s me,” Robb said, stepping forward. Danyul made a mental note to call that one “Humperdink,” because he looked like something out of The Princess Bride. Canada Goose online

Canada Goose Jackets “Great. How about the other two? What are your stories?” Canada Goose Jackets

“I’m a bastard,” pouted Jon, while looking sad and whiny. “I’m Ned’s son from another woman, so I’m only ‘kind of’ part of the family. Ned Stark raised me.” He pouted some more.

“And I’m also not part of the family, but I kind of am. Ned Stark raised cheap Canada Goose me,” the third one said. He also looked like something out of The Princess Bride, so Danyul made a mental note to call him “Humperdink canada goose uk outlet II: Humplectric Dinkaloo.”

buy canada goose jacket “Right,” Danyul said, “and that’s my problem as a. canada goose let’s say a ‘viewer’ of this world. I mean, right here, we’ve Canada Goose Outlet got three 20 somethings who all hang out and look kind of the same and have the same mannerisms and ” buy canada goose jacket

“I’m actually supposed to be 14,” said Jon, the moodiest of the bunch.

canada goose “Bull. The Fuck. Shit you are.” canada goose

buy canada goose jacket cheap “Let’s move on,” Danyul said, as he instructed three sword wielding, armor clad men to step forward. “You three. Please explain why you’re different.” buy canada goose jacket cheap

cheap Canada Goose Lord Varys, sometimes known as “The Spider,” or “The Master of Whispers,” or “The Needlessly Creepy Bald Guy,” approached. He always spoke quietly to, as he so claimed, avoid being overheard, though it was secretly suspected in all of the nine kingdoms that he only did so to Canada Goose Jackets have an excuse to get really close to whoever he was talking to. Like, he gets right up on you. Whispers in your ear, you can feel his tongue flicking your earlobe occasionally. “Sorry for licking your ‘lobe” he once said to Ned Stark after a particularly close whisper. Ned almost took his head off that day. cheap Canada Goose

canada goose coats on sale Varys carried a torch, and the fire itself seemed to try to keep its distance from the general air of discomfort that he puts out into the world. Surely the shadows were playing tricks on me (the omnipotent, narrative eye of this world), because it looked like he was leaving a trail of slime in his canada goose clearance wake. If there was anyone that made people more uncomfortable than Danyul, it was Varys. canada goose coats on sale

“Good Sir Danyul,” he said in a buy canada goose jacket cheap low whisper that was heavy with spit, and chunks of things, “have you a moment or two to ssssspare? For the Ssssspider?”

Canada Goose sale “Not, uh, canada goose coats not really, man. I’ve got uk canada goose There’s a whole, like, a ton of. things I should be doing, right now. If you give me just a second I’m sure I can think of. a single task.” Come on, Danyul. “Ravens? I have to do something with the ravens? Shoot them, or train them, or tie messages around their legs cheap canada goose uk and assume they know where I want them to fly. Something.” Canada Goose sale

canada goose deals “This will take but a moment of your time, your grace. I just have a brief ssstory.” canada goose deals

“Please don’t let it be about your balls.”

canada goose clearance “You know, I was a boy, once, before they took a hot canada goose uk shop knife to my scrotum to remove my balls ” canada goose clearance

canada goose clearance sale “It cauterized almost immediately, you know.” canada goose clearance sale

canada goose black friday sale “I didn’t know. Of course I didn’t know. I spent my whole life trying not Canada Goose online to know that. I was pitching a perfect game of not knowing the specifics of what happens during castration, until just this moment.” canada goose black friday sale.

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